Picks 'n Pops: Lucky breaks, lifetime bans, and a driving rat

- Klay Thompson will be back with the Warriors. They need each other too much. If he takes a mid-level contract and the Dubs move on from Chris Paul, that will give the team the huge financial savings it's looking for. 

- While people are going to be hyper-focused on whether the Warriors get broken up, they should be looking to see what Miami ends up doing. That's a team that should be headed for a rebuild soon.

- Jayson Tatum’s trainer Drew Hanlen said “I’ve been trying to turn him into a cocky player on the court and an arrogant player on the court … I always tell him to be the ‘nicest asshole’ -- a nice guy off the court and an asshole on the court.”

Sign me up for a Tatum with more of a mean streak on the court. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t make the right play or he plays more selfish. It just means taking Tatum from “capable” of doing things to “inevitable.” 

I think Tatum is amazing, but he still has levels he can reach, and lot of it has to do with his mental approach to the game. He’s turned himself into a physical specimen. Now let’s see him take another leap upstairs. 

- Contrary to popular belief, Jontay Porter’s lifetime suspension was not for gambling. It was for being the stupidest gambler on the planet. It was like asking a cop if he could borrow his gun so he could mug someone. It was like asking his insurance adjustor for the match to burn down his house for the money. It was like trying to carjack a bus while wearing a varsity jacket with your name on it. 

Oh wait. Sorry. That last one was about Marvin Barnes. 

- Silver must be thrilled that the first gambling scandal involved a two-way guy. He gets to be the big, tough executioner who sets the example that this stuff won’t be tolerated by banning a guy who probably wasn’t going to make it in the league. He must be pretty relieved that it wasn’t an All-NBA guy. 

- This interaction between Gregg Doyel and Caitlin Clark is beyond gross and unprofessional. 

I get that we in the media are trying to find ways to connect with interview subjects and it’s tough in that kind of setting, but it’s mind-blowing to me that people still don’t understand the boundaries between male reporters and female athletes. 

Luckily, I’m here to write the manual for everyone: They're athletes. Ask them the same questions whether they are men or women. Treat them all the same. 

There. The first-ever manual that fits on a Post-It Note. Considering Doyel's history, he might want to tattoo it backwards on his forehead so he can read it in the mirror every morning. 

- Gronk spike first pitch was perfect

- Boban Marjanovic proves he is a man of the people by intentionally missing a free throw to give fans free chicken. 

- Trae Young will never be the best player on a consistently good team. He can’t be a big scorer without hunting for fouls and he is the worst defender on the floor. It happened again in their play-in game against Chicago. 

- These people taught their rat how to drive, so don’t tell me you don’t know how to enter and exit a rotary. 

- In lieu of the Bing AI-generated image, here is an actual screenshot of Mike Gorman on TV during his PRISM New England days. 

No amount of AI could capture the glory of that photo. Shout out to Mike Gorman for an impeccable career. He’s accomplishing the number one goal of anyone in the broadcast business: going out on your own terms. 

- Your 2023-24 NBA Belt champion: The Philadelphia 76ers. They took the belt and whipped off eight straight wins to close the regular season. 

The belt is now finished for the season. It doesn’t go into the playoffs or anything. The whole concept of the belt is the reigning champion having to defend it to start the season. The playoffs are the process of determining that champion, so the last day of the regular season means the holder of the belt gets the honor of being this year’s champs. 

Congrats to the Sixers. Finally, the process has paid off. 

- Here’s my latest podcast, if you’re bored: